can i please just fucking throw up all the loneliness and isolation and sadness out of my system, just to revel a pink empty inside - but it’s worth it for those 30 seconds of heat and cold and adrenaline and release of the pain of feeling alone in this world, no matter what your brain tells you, you always feel alone; no matter how often you cry, you always feel sad; because you need more love in your life, more acceptance, more understanding and fuck sympathy i need some empathy in my life - i need someone who says “yes, I’ve been through this and boy, I can’t tell you how badly it sucks.” We don’t even have to be best friends -just someone who won’t look at me funny, or ask me why I’m wearing a dress today, or what pronoun they should use, after I say ‘none’ because this fucked up world is revolving on an axis that is a binary: north and south, male and female, and I am neither, I am none, I am all, I am wishing on a star that is only shining so bright because it blew up a little while ago, and don’t we all want to be shining so brightly, but no one wants to explode. The dream I had last night about you gave me a crick in my neck - my shoulders were up to my ears, my lungs were drowning in the fear that you left and i couldn’t find you because you were being stubborn and baby, i’m not sure if i want to find you, i’m not sure if you want to be found, i want to dig a hole in the ground and bury my sorrows and feel my lungs fill with air, and instead of weeping, i would begin to smile.